As children, everyone needs love and support. While some people grow up with an abundance of parental support, others get very little. Many psychiatrists believe that the relationships between parents and children growing up strongly affect their behavior and emotions as adults and this is especially true when it comes to forming relationships with other people. For children who have received inconsistent love and support from their parents growing up, they may developed what is called a set of anxious attachment styles as an adult, which can make forming adult relationships difficult.
What are Attachment Styles?
According to a school of psychiatric thought called “attachment theory,” for proper social and emotional development, children need to form a strong relationship with at least one primary caregiver. If they do not, then they may experience varying degrees of emotional trauma as an adult. People who successfully formed these relationships with caregivers as young children often settle into a healthy “secure” attachment style as an adult. This means that they are able both to set boundaries in relationships and to feel empathy for other people. They do not base their sense of self-worth on receiving affirmation from others.
People who have formed insecure or inconsistent bonds with their parents growing up may instead experience one of the following types of attachment styles:
-
- Avoidant Attachment: Most commonly experienced by people whose parents were inattentive to their needs, avoidant attachment results in people who tend to avoid emotional intimacy altogether and to stick to their own company.
- Anxious Attachment Style: People who exhibit an anxious attachment style look for self-validation and emotional fulfillment in relationships. Their fixation on others can lead to an emotional rollercoaster, as they often set their own needs aside and develop unhealthy relationships.
- Anxious Avoidant Attachment: Anxious avoidant attachment is a hybrid of the other two styles. People who exhibit this form of attachment often vacillate between avoidant attachment and anxious attachment style. These individuals both fear and crave intimacy.
Dealing with Anxious Attachment Styles
If you exhibit an anxious attachment style or one of the other insecure attachment styles, it can have a strong negative effect on your life, ruining relationships and preventing you from living the way you would like. Luckily, there are highly effective therapeutic and medical therapies available that can help you manage the emotional trauma that can result from an upbringing lacking consistent love and attention.
When it comes to therapy, there are numerous options that can provide significant help for people with anxious or avoidant attachment styles. These can include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps re-channel negative thoughts and behaviors, and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), a type of therapy for people who experience emotions more intensely than others. A psychiatrist might also prescribe anti-depressants such as ketamine infusions or other medication to help with anxiety.
Contact Bluewater Psychiatry
If you think you have avoidance or anxious attachment styles and want to find out what options are available to you, do not hesitate to contact Bluewater Psychiatry today. We offer a wide range of therapeutic services that are tailored specifically to each individual. Fill out the form below and someone will contact you shortly.